There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
