So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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