I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
