Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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