it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
