I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
