im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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