apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize