@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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