this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
