whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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