Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
