the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
