I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
