He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
