i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
