I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
