It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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