the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's blow job season.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He better not be in your backpack
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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