I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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