Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
