The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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