Dual....:-)
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
