so explain again why im purple
no
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize