its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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