I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have fence marks all over my body
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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