I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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