Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
