It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize