I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
