You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
