1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
