I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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