I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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