The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
