OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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