I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
