If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
