We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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