but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize