ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
