He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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