Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
