I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
