shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I look better un-naked...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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