And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
