If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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