I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
