May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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