I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
