do herpes really smell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she told me i tasted like america
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
