i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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