He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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