i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm too high and old for this...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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