I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
