Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize