My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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