don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
