yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
