brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
