Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
