everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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