I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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