Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
