He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
