whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
