We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
